Life teaches you the lessons you need to learn in subtle ways, I’ve realised this gradually over the years, and the more I pay attention to what is going on in my life, the more apparent this becomes. Something bad happens: there is a reason. This means I have something to learn. Sometimes the lesson is how to deal with difficulty, how to prevail with a calm mind and use my powers of reason, my moral compass, to guide me through. (e.g. Ruerri’s anxiety problem and non-attendance at school).
Yesterday and this morning the lesson seems to be: “Tread carefully: slow down.” I’ve been supercharged recently, lots of ideas buzzing in my head, and l’ve often taken on too much in the day (e.g. spending 21 man hours trying to fix a guitar I bought, rattling off copy for that webpage and others, etc). Some of these things were not necessary (the guitar, etc), others needed to be done but would have been better done if I had slowed down.
No stopwatch is running here.
This morning I stubbed toes on both feet by not being careful as I navigated my flat. The lesson is implied, it’s subtle, but it’s there. Slow down David, tread carefully.
The whole abuse of alcohol and then cannabis thing: I had to find out about addiction and how it works myself. I have realised this for some time: it is part of my purpose in this life.
I had it in me from the very beginning: as a child I wanted to know why Dad could not just stop smoking, I remember thinking I would like to know what it felt like to be addicted.
One Sunday lunch I was allowed a glass of cider over lunch, I sneaked more and more until I was violently sick. My mother said: “David, you’ve been taught a valuable life lesson today, how to be a man. It is not clever to drink alcohol excessively.” Would I listen to this? I knew at once I would disregard her words of wisdom.
I had to travel this journey to be the best person I can. Perhaps so that I can help others: there is great value in helping others. Give without expectation.
When you do this: when you give without expectation, simply for the purpose of helping. The benefits are quite remarkable: the universe gives back. Balance is restored.
I posted my ‘wake up call’ on Facebook. One responded and I did my best to help.
Of around 600 people on my Facebook, of whom around 50 ‘liked’ my post. Only one had the determination and spirit to stand up and accept the offer. That person was exceptional. Of the 600 many more than 1 (or 50) are affected. However a seed was sown for them there. Life gave them a learning opportunity in a subtle way (I was its tool for this purpose).
I could not support 50 people at once. I was not meant to do so: I was meant to do it for the one person. And the 50 were supposed to have a seed planted. And the remainder? They may never wake up to the subtle lessons life will teach if you wake up to what’s often in front of you. They will probably have to re-do this life until they eventually do learn.
My son has anxiety problems with school. I tried to help: did everything I could think of to help him overcome this and get back to regular attendance at school. I did so out of love only. But I became frustrated when it did not work, or things backslid when out of my hands. He retreated from me and for around a month I did not see him.
This was a lesson: my frustration response was wrong, I love him unconditionally and he just finds school life anxiety inducing. He is quiet child, who can’t handle the chaos and noise, he can’t effectively learn in that environment. I needed to listen to the substance of what was going on: not just try to produce the result I automatically thought was right: child goes to school, school is sometimes difficult, experiencing difficulty is part of life. Did I really decide to let my child suffer? Yes. That was wrong of me, I see it now.
A better way to put this might be : “Life gives you the opportunity to learn lessons you need to learn and does so in subtle ways.”